Of all the Scandanavian dance bands featured in the Dance Band Bonanza and the far more thorough Svenske danseband pages, Gluntan is the only one I could find who are still performing and offering MP3s for download

There are no samples of Gert Jonnys music (nor any from their latest incarnation as Freddy’s orkester. Though without Gert, I doubt they’re even half the band.) But I’ve got the next best thing: the definitive collection of Gert Jonnys pictures.





This entry was posted on Sunday, July 10th, 2005 at 11:58 am and is filed under Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

44 Responses to “Gert Jonnys”

  1. Boltoph on July 11th, 2005 at 12:30 pm :

    The Gert Johnny’s, without Gert, has to be like Pearl Jam without Eddie Vedder…or the Doors without Jim Morrison…or Ryan Adams with Bryan Adams filling in for Ryan…

  2. tonetripper on July 11th, 2005 at 1:44 pm :

    I want to be in a band that has matching costumes like this. These guys rule!!!!!! I should know I have all their albums.

  3. NEPO on July 24th, 2005 at 6:29 am :

    BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR UGLY … VERY VERY UGLY

  4. Seoup T. Gei on August 5th, 2005 at 11:12 am :

    Oh so sexy, yet still mildly identifiable. Such suave vests and sophisticated smiles.

  5. Christian on August 5th, 2005 at 9:48 pm :

    These guys kick serious ass! They have recently reformed and are playing around the Portland, Oregon area. \m/

  6. Richard Cranium on August 20th, 2005 at 1:16 pm :

    I remember hanging out at Sal’s enjoying the merry mirthmaking of the Gert Jonnys and wishing we had girlfriends. Ah, those were the days.

  7. matt on August 24th, 2005 at 2:15 am :

    me and my friends are dressing up like these guys for halloween

  8. des on August 24th, 2005 at 6:15 am :

    Dude, I can say without hyperbole: That’s the best idea ever.

  9. calle on September 29th, 2005 at 9:29 pm :

    I found a Gert Jonnys album for about $0.50. wow. It was recorded in 1986 after Gert Jonny himself left the group. Well… It’s still Gert Jonny’s!

  10. des on October 4th, 2005 at 11:13 am :

    I’ll bet it sounds like angels (in pantsuits) dancing

  11. davo on November 3rd, 2005 at 5:56 am :

    I’ve never been so aroused in my life, these guys should go into underwear modelling

  12. Dubs on November 6th, 2005 at 3:09 am :

    The front fat guy looks like Franco Alvisi!!

  13. Dubs on November 6th, 2005 at 3:11 am :

    Terry McGinty has the smallest weener in america!!!!!

  14. Dubs on November 6th, 2005 at 3:11 am :

    All of you guys are fags

  15. des on November 7th, 2005 at 11:20 am :

    Dubs, check your meds, dude.

  16. Dubs on November 7th, 2005 at 8:14 pm :

    LISTEN DES
    im tryin to get the Girt Jonnys CD, anyone know where i can get a copy?

  17. Dubs on November 8th, 2005 at 10:47 am :

    I need to hear the Gerts!!!!!

    Stinker, Stinkers, Poops, and Weeners!

  18. Gert on November 9th, 2005 at 5:22 am :

    i am gert jonny. i apreciate the super support you smashing fellas have given me and dubs…you’re a flange

  19. Dubs on November 9th, 2005 at 4:42 pm :

    Hey Gert!!! How can i get you music? Whats a Flange? Is it a really cool man like yourself??

  20. des on November 9th, 2005 at 5:11 pm :

    I share your passion Dubs. Probably the best place to find Gert Jonnys music is on eBay Sweden: http://www.ebay.se/home

    Though I’ve had no luck.

    Maybe cuddle up to some Gluntan: http://www.gluntan.no/hor.html

    I know … not the same.

  21. Gert on November 10th, 2005 at 4:21 am :

    Well dubs, if you had anything like the fashion sense of i you would understand that a flange is scandinavian for ringpiece. i love you all

  22. mell on November 28th, 2005 at 1:37 am :

    I love GERT he is sooo sexy with his devilish smile and super awesome hair

  23. Gertlicious on January 19th, 2006 at 2:34 am :

    What ya’ll know bout Gert man?? Nuffin, we poppin trunk and thumpin screwed up Johnny’s out the back of the ‘Lac. Gert Johnny Johnny Gert Johnny Johnny GOOO!! OH SNAP SON!

  24. Peegoo on January 23rd, 2006 at 12:00 am :

    Something smells like lutefisk in here.

    Oh, nevermind. It’s the Gert Jonnys!

    Who wants apricots?

  25. big worm on February 18th, 2006 at 9:01 pm :

    Dubbies you have everyone of these clowns cds dont lie

  26. Landon on May 8th, 2007 at 3:27 pm :

    This article doesn’t mention the 5th Johnny, Joshua Munger Heath. Curious, since he was the catalysts to the music. Sure, Gert was instrumental in the band’s success, but he spent half his time with underaged male roadies. That is when Heath stepped in to work his magic. Munger “Heath’s” most famous tune was called the “The Naked River Crab Walk.”

  27. Jenny and Heather on May 10th, 2007 at 6:04 pm :

    I think Gert Johnny is very special to me. It makes me want to go and sing on top of the French Alps with Ricola in my mouth. I love you Gert Johnny boys! You are the greatest and my life long inspiration!

  28. Earl on May 10th, 2007 at 6:13 pm :

    growing up i always loved the gert’s..i mean how can you not? From their borderline amazing music to those fantastic outfits..i had to go and buy all of their clothes and music once it hit the stores..keep on rocking gert jonnys!!

  29. Jenny and Heather on May 10th, 2007 at 6:15 pm :

    I can’t stop thinking about Gert Johnny. I spent many uh days in a field in Scotland dreaming of Gert Johhny. My husband wears a nice wig that looks like Gert Johnny and his awesome chops. Only on Tuesdays though. I listen to them and eat a jar of pickled fish and a glass of warm butter. I love you Gert Johnny!

  30. Jenny and Heather on May 10th, 2007 at 6:17 pm :

    Gert Johnny is better than sweet pickles! I would love to rub my crusted feet in their beautiful love locks.

  31. Jenny and Heather on May 11th, 2007 at 10:49 am :

    Last night I had a thuper awthum dream of my Gert Johnny Boys. We were dancing by a fire listening to goats playing fiddels. Then we toured with Gert Johnny while riding unicorns with rainbow stripes. For a brief moment I was Gert Johnny. We rocked all night. I awoke this morning and was soaked in what I thought was sweat. Turns out I had peed the bed. Rock on Gert Johnny!

  32. Gerte on May 13th, 2007 at 6:15 am :

    ehhh..
    These gays are so coool..

  33. Earl on May 20th, 2007 at 7:12 pm :

    I like to tune meat whistles to while listening to the Gert Jonnys.

  34. Jenny and Heather on May 21st, 2007 at 1:32 pm :

    I like to fist gut lockers and eat bearded clams while listening to the Gerts. They go very well with a tossed salad.

  35. JENNY AND HEATHER AMAZINGLY AWESOME on May 22nd, 2007 at 1:24 pm :

    WE LOVE TO SHARE THE FLESH FLUTE WHILE TRYING TO TUNE OUR COCK HOLSTERS TO THE BEAT OF THE GERT MEISTERS! ALL BACKDOOR ACTION HERE GERT BABIES! TAKE US NOW.

  36. EARL on May 22nd, 2007 at 4:16 pm :

    I love the Gert Jonnys and I love Jenny and Heather. I grew up in a trailer park and we didn’t have cool music to listen to like the Gert Jonnys. I did however dress like them because my mom bought me used suits from the thrift store. Jenny and Heather introduced me to the great music of the Gert Jonnys and I have been hooked ever since. My trailer blew up when I was cooking a fresh batch of meth a few weeks ago, so all my suits were destroyed. Bummer.

  37. JENNY AND HEATHER AWESOMELY AWESOME on May 22nd, 2007 at 5:33 pm :

    Yeah, the Gerts have always been with me through the hard times. I used to listen them backstage while my mom was doing the Tijuana Donkey Show. On Tuesdays we would go to the local food bank and they would always play the Gert Johnnys. I went through a phaze I like to call “truckin and suckin”. Lots of truck stop bathrooms. The Gerts made me feel worth something. Now, I am just suckin without the truckin! Thanks for the support Gert Johnnys!

  38. EARL on May 22nd, 2007 at 5:46 pm :

    My mom isn’t sure which one of the Johnnys is my real father. She was a roadie for a while in the 70’s before she joined the circus. I personally think I have the eyes of the the dude with the sideburns. My dad wasn’t very well endowed either…I got that from him too. I did meet Jenny and Heather in a bathroom truckstop in Birmingham. They were blasting the Jonnys from their big rig. They drive a Peterbilt 387. nice truck. That’s how I came to love the band!

  39. JENNY AND HEATHER AWESOMELY AWESOME on May 22nd, 2007 at 6:04 pm :

    We love the lead singer. You know…the fat bastard that looks like an umpa lumpa with advanced Downs Syndrome. We have babies from them. They look like miniature retard versions of Sloth from The Goonies. Way to go Capt. Corn Beard! They tickle our turd cutters!

  40. EARL on May 22nd, 2007 at 6:10 pm :

    Hey, that could be my dad you are talking about Jenny and Heather! He’s just special.

  41. DUBS on August 23rd, 2007 at 2:23 pm :

    Yo, I’m back from my travels to Scandinavia Weens! I’ve spent my time looking for Gert so I can stick my Flange down his throat! Like I’ve always said, “De Poop oh pee da ween pee poo!

  42. rdog on October 1st, 2007 at 2:57 pm :

    these guys look retarded gert looks like a mongaloyd. these guys must smoke pole.

  43. supershiverdogg on April 24th, 2008 at 6:43 pm :

    these guys rock

  44. Dubs on July 10th, 2008 at 12:07 pm :

    Back again! Gerties?? Are you there? I need some of your tunage. Brandon Weizer is Jewy. Ahhhshhhtinka schtinka Poo special at the Butt Hut!!